The last 5 years have been a journey for me. One that has caused me to doubt my abilities, to find solace in God or people. So far, the medical community can only tell me what it isn’t and barely help to reduce the symptoms to manageable. Debilitating dizziness has kept me from work, from church, away from friends and family all because I can’t function.
Psalm 77:19. I was recently given this verse as I work through some health issues which are creating a number of difficulties in my life. John Friesen said, “there is a reason, though I don’t know it and there is a path, though I don’t see it”. Psalm 77:19 Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters – a pathway no one knew was there! (NLT)
When you’re going through a hard time (at work, with family, with your health or mental health), you want to know there is some reason, a purpose. You want to know there is a way out, a patch to follow, a tunnel and the bright line isn’t a train that’s going to hit you. What of you don’t know the reason or understand the why? For a guy like me who needs to always feel in control, this idea is very scary. Scarier than repelling a 100 foot cliff or climbing a 70 foot pole. I wonder if I have to take each step in faith without knowing the path.
Rodney Atkins has a song chorus that says, “If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going, Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it, You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there”. Winston Churchill and my aunt Isobel used to say something like that too. I think there is some common sense there, but these verses are better.
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. (NLT)
Psalm 23:4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. (NLT)
Matthew 7:13-14 You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. (NLT)
In the journey over the last few years, I have struggled to understand the why of my situation. I don’t like not being strong. I certainly don’t like feeling sick, dizzy, tired, unfocused, crappy or unmotivated. I feel overwhelmed at times. Some days I don’t feel my prayers go beyond the ceiling.
The journey continues… looking for a pathway no one knew was there.